I was a quiet, sensitive little girl, who grew up in a family of very strong women, this was not helped by the fact that by the age of 7, I still could not read and my very bright younger sister was about to overtake me at school. I remember my grandmother helping me to read Janet and John books, it was humiliating, and I was bullied at school for being stupid. All this left me with a little voice of nagging doubt that “I was not good enough".
Eventually of course, I overcame all of these problems and if anything it gave me a fight and drive to succeed. As a young women in my first job as a graduate trainee with Safeways Supermarkets I wanted to be the first Female District Manager at that time there was only one female store manager so this was a big goal.
My nagging doubt was still there, and I thought that the external trappings of a fancy title, expensive holidays and sports car would make me feel good.
I worked hard and was not very good at handling my stress, I was diagnosed with M.S. in 1999, this did make me re-evaluate my life and look after myself a little better. After another couple years of hard work and more stress I thought I had made it, I was a Senior Executive for a Global Brewer, however inside I knew I was not happy, there had to be something more. I felt a void that needed to be filled.
Then in 2004 I was on a holiday for “stressed out executives” and I met a truly charismatic yoga teacher. She was tiny only just 5 foot, but with a powerful presence that really resonated with me. She held the attention of our group with a power that I had not felt before.
I met other amazing people on that holiday, who were not “corporate” and yet were making a big impression on me, slowly the penny was dropping. Then one morning we got up at 5.00 to do a meditation and watch the sunrise. Imagine the scene, an inky blue sky with a billion stars twinkling, and as the sun started to come up, the change in the light was amazing, as we were chanting I had my epiphany, happiness was not about wealth and titles or material possession, it was about the inner peace and calm within, that feeling of bliss and joy.
On the way back from that holiday I wrote a goal that I would be doing a completely different job in the next 5 years. Be careful what you wish for! 12 months later I took voluntary redundancy and started on the next phase of my career. I retrained as a coach and gradually unpeeled all of those layers, I met many more spiritual people during this time and I recognised that they were all unique and absolutely true to themselves. I started on my journey to learn more about spirituality and how I could have that feeling of calm and peace every day.
One of the challenges I faced was still working in the corporate world as a facilitator and coach and wanting to be doing more spiritual work. Then in 2016 Karen and I founded Corporate Soul which was designed to do exactly that. But still there was a little something holding me back, I needed to be brave and stake my claim about who I was now. My opportunity came on the 18.01.18. I was delivering a workshop for the Women in Banking and Finance in Birmingham. The topic was Building Resilience and Reducing Stress a topic close to my heart. In front of this very corporate group, I openly stated my purpose was to bring the Light to people in business to awaken them to their soul. Teaching people how to meditate is my way of helping people to understand that they have a soul and how to connect with it.
It was very liberating to be in my Light and make that claim. Since I made that public declaration with nearly 50 witnesses, I have felt a real shift in my connection and energies. I now openly talk about being a healer, a teacher and bringer of Light. It feels good, like I have come home. My doubt about being open and being judged, was what I needed to let go of with the old energies of 2017. On that day I truly felt the power of peace and it is continuing the more I allow my light to shine.
When I am in standing in my light I feel the balance of power and peace in equal measure.
Tara Zutshi February 2018